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Do Children Lie About Sexual Abuse?

Of the many misconceptions about child sexual abuse, one is that children often lie about being sexually abused. This myth persists despite research and ever-improving levels of awareness, probably because it’s sometimes easer for family and other people around the child to believe that the child made it up.

Paedophile Hunters: more harm than good?

‘Paedophile hunter’ vigilante groups have gained more attention in the media lately, and have divided public opinion over their role in detecting crime, or at least, those who intend to commit the crime of child sexual abuse. This video addresses some of the criticisms levelled against them in the media.

Mandatory reporting debate, what you need to know

There is currently no legal duty to report known or suspected child abuse in England. This video outlines the ongoing debate, using excerpts from the recent IICSA seminars. It is the secrecy surrounding child sexual abuse which makes a legal reporting duty particularly relevant. This video looks at what the research says from other countries which have implemented mandatory reporting for child abuse.

Three MORE myths about child sexual abuse

In this video, I talk about some of the common misconceptions about child sexual abuse, from my own experience and that of the people I know.

How to respond when a friend tells you they were abused as a child:

If you know someone who has experienced child sexual abuse, but you’ve never known how to broach the topic, this video is for you.

Three reasons why children don’t tell you if they’re being sexually abused

What if there’s a child you know who is being abused, but who doesn’t feel able to tell you yet? In this video, I explain some of the reasons why children find it so hard to tell you the ‘secret’, so that you can better understand the experience of abuse from a child’s point of view.

What is the impact of child sexual abuse?

Today’s video outlines some of the ways that child sexual abuse can affect us. I can vouch for at least half of them myself.. the others are from people I know, or books I’ve read by people who work with survivors. Watch ’til the end for the unexpected flip side. 🙂

When you are estranged from your family:

I’m sharing two mind sets which help me to cope with negative reactions from family members who couldn’t handle the truth. Firstly, that not having toxic people around – family or not – works out to be major self-care… and second, that going it alone frees up your energy to spend less time fulfilling soul-destroying obligations and more time starting a new and healthier cycle of family culture.

Things abusers say to keep children silent

Today I’m sharing five things the abuser would say to me that scared me enough to not tell anyone I was being sexually abused at home. It has been a surprisingly difficult video for me to make, but I think it’s important for everyone to understand why children don’t tell us. For this, and for prevention in general, we need to look at more than symptoms.. we need to delve into the dynamic that the abuser creates with the child.

Do you feel responsible for being sexually abused?

The more we can share – in detail – the exact nature of what happened to us, and to still have it explained that it wasn’t our fault, taking those specific factors into account, the easier it’ll be to release feelings of shame and responsibility which we never should’ve had to deal with in the first place.

Child sexual abuse: how to encourage children to tell you

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how another person might have helped me to tell them sooner than I did. I remember clearly how terrified I was of anyone finding out that I was being sexually abused. Today’s video shares my thoughts on how we might encourage a more open conversation with our children about sexual abuse.

Child sexual abuse: the first time I told somebody

In this video I talk about how I first disclosed that I was being sexually abused. Speaking out was the best thing I ever did. It is essential that you take a child seriously the first time they try to tell you.

Child sexual abuse: my experience of the court process

In this video I share what happened from when I first disclosed the sexual abuse, to the conclusion of the trial. This is for anybody out there who has reported to the police and wants to know what could happen next.

Child sexual abuse: five myths everyone should know

In this video I explain five common beliefs or misunderstandings about child sexual abuse, and why they are myths.