How The Abuse Started

Today I’m talking about the very first incident of sexual abuse, when I was six or sevenish – can’t really remember.

One little detail kept me feeling that it was all my fault, and today I’m gonna tell you what that was. It might sound strange that such an obviously innocent thing could make me feel responsible, but the truth is I couldn’t tell my family, or the court, about this for years after the abuse stopped. I even wonder if the abuser justifies his actions based on the point that I’m talking about in this video.


If you’re a survivor, and you’re watching this, please let me know if you also have some tiny detail of your abuse story that you deep down feel changes everything and makes it your fault. And, if you can, tell me what that is! The bottom line is that sexual abuse is NEVER the child’s fault; and I think a tailored response from me might make that clear for you, and help to lift the burden.

There’s nothing I haven’t told at least one person now. All the pieces are in the equation, and the jury have returned with a decision, and their verdict is… no. It’s not my fault. It never was.



2 thoughts on “How The Abuse Started

  1. This must’ve taken a lot of courage. Well done πŸ™‚ keep up with the videos as I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who need them! I might also show them to one of the kids I work with who has a similar story to yours, if I get the chance πŸ™‚


    1. Thank you! It is a little scary, but required and necessary, I think. Sadly, it seems that everyone knows adults or works with children who have experienced abuse. I want to make it so that kids feel safe and trusting enough to speak out after the first time!


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